There’s gonna be a storm today

There’s gonna be a storm today,
I know I feel it’s curse,
I’m ready for the raging winds,
And the waterworks to burst.

The awful itching in my scalp,
The headiness that bears down,
There’s gonna be a storm today,
I hope that I don’t drown.

Under the weight of awful clouds,
That follow my every move,
That haunt my waking hours,
And play havoc with my mood.

There’s gonna be a storm,
It will rage inside of me,
But no one else will suffer,
I’ll contain it, just you see.

The sun will shine around me,
Whilst inside the thunder rolls,
And every lighting strike,
Will likely take its toll.

There’s gonna be storm,
But it will soon be gone,
Then life will start again,
And I’ll be moving on.

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Bullying the child

The worst bully of them all,
As it is plain to see,
The one who hurts the most,
Turns out to be me.

I beat myself up daily,
I never miss a trick,
To make myself feel miserable,
I make myself feel sick,

I’m mad and inconsolable,
Insanely uncontrollable,
Talking to myself,
It really is unbearable.

I need to take some time,
To understand my situation,
To reconcile my broken halves,
And quell this inner friction.

I have to be more gentle,
I have to care for and be kind,
To bring about the harmony,
That is so hard to find.

No more bullying or misery,
I have to be more mild,
I have to love and hold her tight,
My inner loving child,

The duldrums

So utterly abandoned,
By every feeling that I’ve known,
No fear, no love,
Nor hate nor joy,
In any shape nor form.
Just numb,
Just sheer abandonment,
Just empty and devoid,
My senses are all afraid,
And emotions are destroyed.
This is the empty side,
Of what I suffer daily,
Not feeling anything,
Not being in this mortal coil,
Nor feeling very human.