Formal dress

Attending in my formal dress,
Standing prim and proper,
I wriggle in me skinny tights,
Just know I’ll come a cropper.

There’s stairs you see,
And I’m in heels,
Shiny blue stilettoes.

One step forward for mankind,
One fall for this big bopper.

What I’d give,
For pumps and slacks,
For all the grace,
That I do lack.

For formal to include blue jeans,
A T-shirt and some jelly beans.

I know I’d knock’em dead,
But here I stand instead.

One step forward for mankind,
One great fall on my behind.