Putting on the Blitz

Putting on the Blitz,
No not putting on the Glitz,
I’s gonna get me rubber gloves,
And tear this place to bits.

There’s bike leathers in dining room,
Plates still in the sink,
I’s got to wash the bins out,
To be honest they’s starting to stink.

I’s got summer curtains to iron,
To hang and windows to wash,
Floors that need a polishing,
And a yard that needs a brush.

I’s been so busy lately,
I think I just went blind,
To all the dust and mayhem
Me and hubbie leave behind.

Rush in through the door,
Put a jacket down,
Where’s the bloody tape measure,
It’s no where to be found.

I’ve got a week to do it
Before I’s goes away,
Oh damn it’s Queens Club Tennis week,
No, I won’t let it get in the way,

Of scrubbing all the skirting,
The doors and all the frames
Oh what’s the bloody use,
When done they look the same.

That’s a negative attitude,
I hear the cleaners amongst you cry,
You come and live in my house,
I’ll dare to keep on top of it, come on give it a try.

First I’m going out
To get some cleaning scrubbies,
I think I’ll stop off at M&S
And just have a cup of coffee.

So I’s got a lot to do,
I’ll start by having a shower,
Going out, Womble about,
Then rest for half an hour.

By three o’clock I’ll be ready,
To start the weekly blitz,
By then it will be too late,
To do what’s on me list.

I’s putting on the Blitz,
Tomorrow I’ll make a start,
Today I’m going to procrastinate,
Trust me I can make ‘putting off’ a art.

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