Being sad

I’m not a sad person, I don’t believe in being miserable. I do however do my fair share of mizzleumping. There are things that upset me, wind me up and drive me to despair. Sometimes I just feel sad.
I can wake up in the morning with a doom and gloom around me that makes me just want to curl up and go back to sleep. What changes that feeling? A little bit of everything. The cat purring, the dog wagging her tail, saying good morning to the dragon and the snakes. Watering my plants even.
I know there are those who have depression and that is so different. It’s not something you can just change. Going through life as if you are just an apparition. No one really noticing that you don’t want to be. You go about your daily life as best you can, laugh at peoples jokes, smile for the camera when deep down inside there is a nagging pain that won’t go away. It ties you up in knots and keeps you just on the edge of reality. You feel isolated, paranoid, distorted from the world outside, somehow you’re just not in sync with anyone. You try so hard to get back to “normal”. The more you try the worse you feel when you realise that nothing you do is making the slightest difference.
I talk with first hand knowledge of depression as it crippled me for years. I’m one of the lucky ones, I recovered, this time. Being aware that it can happen to anyone, anywhere I’m constantly on my guard.
But I recognise the difference between being sad and depression. Sadness is a condition that is caused by events. If I woke up every morning feeling sad I would worry. Maybe I analyse the situation too much, maybe I’m just afraid to go back to being depressed. For what ever reason, I do everything I can think of to drive away the sadness.
OK time for some jigging about like Madonna, drive away the blues. It’s alright I don’t have a stage to fall off!


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